My First Therapy Session: Misconceptions, Struggles, and the Power of Person-Centred Counselling
- michaelwallcounsel
- Dec 13, 2024
- 4 min read
I've walked in the shoes of many of my clients, this I can say with confidence. Typically in the counselling space I acknowledge this feeling but do not express it, as there is a danger to the client's focus if i direct the session on to me. Here, I am going to be more candid about myself and how I, as a qualified therapist have been on my own journey personal and therapeutic journey. There is not a better reference point than my first session in therapy. I was a university student studying psychology, at some point in this period I hit a brick wall. Struggles with purpose in life, living at home in an unsafe environment and new mental health diagnoses of anxiety and depression left me with so much to juggle. In this bottomless pit, I needed something. That something was initially anti-depressants, fluoxetine to be specific, they numbed and quietened the inner voices but the deep scarring remained. I got advised by the university to seek counselling. There it was. The beginning, the first experience of counselling.
The First Session
I remember how it all feels like it was yesterday, I was desperate but desperate for solutions, for answers, for guidance. Reflecting back, I can see how misguided I was in seeking these things but how was I to know? I go for my consultation and I am not getting the answers or the structure I was seeking - instead I get introduced to Person-Centred Counselling in which I am expected to be an expert of my own journey.
This felt like I was being thrown into the lions den, how was I expected to be the creator of my own path towards a better me. Before sessions had started I was already apprehensive and pessimistic about the outcome of these sessions. The sessions themselves, felt fine but fine at best, reflecting back I can see that this was not because of the counsellor - she was lovely. However, I had already allowed myself to shut down any potential growth in these eight weeks as I was not getting what I believe to be the 'fix'. Where's my guidance? Why is there silence? Why are you not helping me? These are all internal questions that are circling and being left unanswered.
Inner Reflections
When i reflect on this I can see that it is clear why I left these sessions in a similar state that I had found myself before starting the counselling. In life we are surrounded by 'experts', those who may not mean to minimise our experience but do so by thinking what they would do in our shoes rather than what we SHOULD do in OUR shoes.
This is called an introjected value, I had taken on a value that is not mine and it created a misaligned network between expectation and reality. To put it plainly, I was surrounded by those who do not suffer with mental illness which made me believe that I should overcome this with ease, as they do. Going into therapy I had been of the belief that the eight weeks will give me all the therapy benefits and I will be guided to a Michael who is better.
It goes without saying of course, I was misguided - by myself. I knew deep down that this is not a scratch that needs treating with a plaster, this is deep scarring that needs time and allowing myself to go on a mental health journey in counselling was necessary. If someone had told me nine years ago that I'd be counselling others using the same approach that I had this experience with, then wouldn't believe it. But here we are.
Why Person-Centred Counselling Works
In Person-Centred therapy, the general belief is that everyone has an Actualising Tendency (this is the innate ability to demonstrate growth). Using the therapy space is considered facilitative in stimulating this tendency - pushing us towards growth and a stronger sense of who we are. At the same time, there are inhibitors of this tendency. This is what I had displayed in my first experience of Person-Centred Therapy. My expectations were completely misaligned with the reality and they did not compromise with each other.
These expectations were very much grounded in a clinical setting, I had thought treatment equals guidance and instruction - which was why I didn't reap the rewards from the therapy space that was offered to me. As when I was met with 'what do you think/feel about that' I would get frustrated because I wanted to be told! The lesson I learned was that the foundations of my issues were cemented in so I can't bulldoze them out of the way with a 'quick fix' and expect to be better. The solution was always there but not what I wanted to hear, it is about a journey that you need to be willing to experience. This is something that is often a barrier in any constructive therapy, accepting the long-term and often painful solution is hard but I guess that is when we ask ourselves 'but is it right?'.
The common misconception about therapy is that it should be guidance-driven, with clear instructions on what to do. While this approach works for some, I’ve come to see the true value of person-centered counselling. It’s about empowerment—giving clients the tools to create and sustain meaningful change in their own lives. For me, the transformation from seeking a 'quick fix' to embracing the journey of self-discovery has been profound. As a therapist, offering that safe, judgment-free space for others is the most fulfilling part of my work. To anyone considering therapy, I encourage you to listen to your inner voice—not the one influenced by others, but the one that speaks to your deepest needs.
I would love to hear about any of your own mental health journeys or even some misconceptions that you initially had. What did you expect from therapy and how did your expectations change?
Take Care.
Michael.
Considering therapy? Contact me for an initial 15 minute consultation or to book in to start/continue your own journey.
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